I’ve been deepening into my sex magic practice recently — not as a technique or ritual, but as a way of living, of listening, of reclaiming.

What I’m discovering is that when I soften into breath, when I slow down and let my body lead, pleasure opens through me.

Not from rubbing or effort.

Not from “doing” something.

But from presence. From being.

And with that presence, truth also rises.

Not just bliss — but all the places where bliss has been blocked.

Because sex magic, when practiced consciously, doesn’t just awaken pleasure.

It also brings to the surface everything that stands in the way of it:

• The parts that don’t feel worthy
• The old beliefs that say I need a man to heal me
• The nervous system patterns that learned to shut down, perform, or go along
• The grief of how long I’ve been disconnected from my own power

And this is where the work begins. Not with fantasy. Not with force.

But with nervous system awareness.

With breath.

With consent.

Breath as a Bridge

I’m realising more and more that the breath is everything.

Breath keeps me in my body.

It connects me to my sensations, my longings, and my boundaries.

When I breathe consciously, pleasure doesn’t just stay in the genitals — it expands, radiates, softens, moves through my whole being.

It clears. It opens. It reveals.

And when I’m breathing — truly with myself — I can notice when something isn’t right.

I can feel the subtle yes, the quiet no, the hesitation, the tender edge.

Without that breath, it’s so easy to fall back into old patterns.

To override. To go along.

To think I’m doing something empowering, when really, I’ve just shifted the costume — not the core.

The Illusion of Safety

One of the deepest realisations for me is this:

Safety can’t be forced.

You can’t decide to feel safe.

You can’t tell someone they’re safe.

You can’t push through the lack of safety and call it empowerment.

Safety is something that emerges — when the nervous system is gently supported, when the pace is slow enough, when the space is attuned and truly invitational.

And while I’ve been in spaces recently where the facilitators absolutely say the right things “follow your truth,” “you can always choose,” “do what’s right for you moment to moment”

I’ve also noticed how fast the practices are.

How easily people go along.

How hard it is to stay attuned to yourself when your system is flooded, and the conditioning to please or perform is still strong.

Consent isn’t just about words.

It’s about the conditions that make real choice possible.

True Sex Magic Emerges from Safety

When the nervous system is dysregulated, sex magic stays in the mind — a fantasy, a performance, or a re-enactment.

But when the body feels safe,

when the breath is connected,

when the pace is slow enough for truth to arise…

Then sex magic becomes real.

It becomes a portal to healing, transformation, and creation.

It becomes a space where pleasure isn’t forced or faked – it’s received.

And all that stands in the way of that receiving can be lovingly brought to light and met with breath, presence, and compassion.

This is the path I’m walking.

Not one of perfection, but of presence.

Not one of always feeling safe, but of learning to honour when I don’t — and choosing to stay with myself there, gently.

This is also the space I long to create for others — especially for women.

A space where we don’t have to push through.

Where we don’t have to perform, impress, or even know what we want right away.

A space where we can remember ourselves — through breath, through truth, through the slow unfolding of pleasure that has always lived within.