You really have choice at any given moment. I know it sometimes doesn’t feel like that, that life is on auto pilot and that you have to do this that or the other. And yes for most of us life can feel like an ever ending unfolding journey of events we don’t really have choice over. Maybe this is what childhood feels like for us and we take it into adulthood. But as adults we have choice and are responsible for what we choose. We will still be living in past conditioning but we can now choose to step out of that and live a life we choose.
For some reason you are choosing to read this right now. Why are you doing that? Maybe you have read something before I have written and liked it, maybe this somehow found you, maybe someone recommended or I asked you to, maybe you are curious about what I share. Or maybe something completely different. In reality I can only imagine and never know why you are reading these words only you do.
It’s interesting to look at why we choose to do something. Is it because someone outside ourselves has told us to, is it our conditioned self, all those stories in our mind, that is telling us what we should/shouldn’t (often on autopilot) or are we able to connect to the wisdom that lies deeply within each and every one of us. It is available to us all, you don’t have to be some guru to connect to that. However it is a journey and in my experience doesn’t happen from one minute to the other even though sometimes there can be huge breakthroughs.
So I invite you to stop. To close your eyes. To take some deep breaths all the way down to your belly and up into your heart. Notice what you notice about yourself. Maybe there is tension or expansion in your body. Maybe there are stories saying you’re not doing it right or you shouldn’t be feeling like this or that. Maybe there is something different. Notice. Just notice. The stories are most likely your conditioning, they are part of your nervous system that is keeping you safe. Unfortunately this part of you does not care if you are happy or not. Find a way to soften around them, maybe you can ask them: what are you doing FOR me? (they are trying to help) Breathe and notice. Give yourself plenty of time. Maybe they are reminding you of something you need to do in X mins, if that is the case do it and come back when you have plenty of time to connect with yourself. Keep breathing and exploring. Notice what you notice in your body, sensations, vibrations, tingling, emotions, feelings, tension, relaxation, nothing or something else, again just breathe and notice. If any of these parts call you breathe into them do so and notice what arises for you. You can ask and communicate or you can just connect and see what comes up. When you feel complete for now ask yourself what do I want? Keep breathing and give yourself time to listen to what reveals itself. Honour that truth and choose to find a way to bring it into action.