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The deeper I go on my own journey the more I am learning about myself. I am very grateful to all my teachers (both those who show me what I do need and those who show me what I definitely don’t need) friends (especially that one in particular, you know who you are) and clients who are supporting me on this journey. 

I am becoming more and more sensitive to everything, which I see as a good thing as we have become very desensitised. I take slow and gentle to a level that most people find really hard to understand but I just can’t do fast and furious any more, it doesn’t resonate with my body. It is actually painful for me.

When it comes to sexuality it seems that everyone is looking for pleasure and orgasm. Where can we find the next fix to make us feel good. As women we have been deprived of that for many years and it seems that we are trying to catch up on all the orgasms we have missed out on. There are coaches and courses offering to teach you how to become multi orgasmic. And yes we are totally capable of all those different orgasms and I think it is great to explore this, but are they actually doing us more harm than good? And are they disconnecting us to our loved ones?

It seems that any form of peak orgasm is stopping the act and therefore not letting us go deeper into ourselves and each other. Lets be honest, most often once orgasm has happened it’s game over (even though some of us can go again and again). What if we could continue for much longer and go much deeper? Where could we go? What could we experience? 

A peak orgasm takes place in the brain, in the reward centre. And there are some amazing chemical reactions going on there that make us feel pretty good. However the bad news it that  there’s an hangover that lasts 14-21 days. During this time we can feel tired, emotional, angry, anything really, but one important reaction is that we feel disconnected to our loved one and want another orgasm to release the pressure, it can be addictive.  It is thought that we start looking outside our relationship to connect with someone else. There is a theory that peak orgasms are for procreation and therefore we want to spread ourselves as much as possible. 

Could this be why so many relationships are failing and we don’t feel nurtured, rejuvenated and energised? Possibly I definitely think it is worth exploring.

 And is there another way? Yes there is. Our sexuality gives us the opportunity to go deeper into ourselves, its a spiritual path. Slowing down, being present, being still with no goal can help us become more sensitive and actually notice what is happening inside ourselves where we have all the answers we need.  It gives us the opportunity to be vulnerable with and connected to our lover.