Asset 2


A friend shared with me recently that she had only just realised that everyone else was a member of this club and not just her and a few selected. If you are reading this and don’t know that ALL of us don’t feel enough please know that we do!! Unfortunately we hide it from each other. We feel ashamed to feel like this. This is due to a very deep rooted belief we all have that there is something wrong with us. Our ego has the role of protecting and proving our beliefs. 

In my experience this arrises when I compare myself with others and this happens all the time especially with women as they feel more of a treat to me than men. So I either judge them to be better than me proving there is something wrong with me, or I judge myself to be better than them this time projecting the I am not good enough onto them. I obviously also do it to myself. I look at parts of my body or my knowledge etc and judge that to be wrong and not good enough. It is SUCH a deep pattern and not easy to break. Big thanks to my friend Kieran, we have been diving deeper into this together and are working on ways to untangle these patterns. I would like to share a few with you that are working for me. 

Knowing we all feel like this helps me feel that I am not alone. I often do forget and have to remind myself. I may be a VIP member but we are all in the club together.

Allowing myself to feel that there is something wrong with me, accepting that this will always be a part of me instead of rejecting and hiding it.

Creating a safe space with others where I can own and share this vulnerable part of me instead of hiding it. 

Noticing what my needs are in scenarios where I do not feel enough and working towards being able to feel safe enough to ask to have them met. 

When I judge someone have something wrong with them I ask myself: Is it possible that there is nothing wrong with them? My ego normally answers no because bla, bla, bla but after a while I have to admit that yes it is possible. It is totally possible. 

When I judge someone else to be better than me I ask myself: Could it be that there is nothing wrong with me and nothing wrong with them either? Again the ego normally starts to argue but after a while admits that yes it could be.

When I look at parts of my body that I judge to be ugly or ageing I ask the same question. Is it possible that there is nothing wrong with these and it is possible. Very possible. 

Noticing that I have choice about my feelings which can help me loosen the feeling. So instead of saying I feel old and ugly when I look at the lines on my face I can change that to I make myself  feel old and ugly when I look at the lines on my face. 

Working with my physical and energetic body. The body stores everything and tapping into this wisdom and releasing what no longer serves me has helped enormously.

Slowing down and spending a lot of time going into myself helps me. In the past I was always busy and never took the time, other things were always more important. 

Allowing myself to feel everything in my body and holding the space for these.

Knowing that I am working with a stuck vulnerable child and trying to find ways that are kind and gentle towards myself. Sometimes I can be a bit rough with myself and I can acknowledge that is the “there is something wrong with me” part in action. 

And knowing this is a journey. It takes time and I need to be gentle and patient with myself so I can enjoy the journey and not just focus on the destination.