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And sex becomes pressure – this can happen in a relationship or if you are single.

When the desire for sex has disappeared or becomes much less than before it’s natural to start believing something is wrong. That the desire for sex has diminished does not have to mean there is something wrong with you or your relationship. It can be more about how you relate to your body and to your feelings. 

Today, the media has a huge impact on how most people and especially women relate to their body and sexuality. Everywhere we are bombarded with images and messages describing ideals for the happy life, the well-functioning relationship and not least the always passionate sex.

It’s great to be inspired, but in many cases, the media’s representation of body, sexuality and relationships makes us again realise that we can not live up to the ideals of an always happy life.

In this experience of defeat there is not only a great opportunity to beat oneself over the head. There is actually also a great opportunity to take care seriously and grow as a human being.

Despite the fact that sex is a problem for many people, and the culture of self-development in many other aspects is growing like never before, we haven’t yet realised the healing and growth that comes with sexuality. Perhaps it may be that we simply do not know what to do when sex does not really work as expected, and so we do not really do anything? We might seek out traditional medicine or psychological help, where sexuality is seen more like a symptom that can be fixed. We take drugs or try to rationalise what is going on in our heads, when in reality we need to be in our bodies where everything is stored in our cellular memory.  

I was consciously unaware of this most of my life. It wasn’t until a few years ago when I started exploring Tantra and then did my Emotional Detox training with Mal Weeraratne that I realised the healing possibilities within sexuality. Unconsciously I had known, thats why I know I was lead to Mal and his work. It felt like I had found my tribe. I had finally come home. My healing journey started many years ago, but nothing opened me up on such a deep level as my own Emotional Detox Journey. 

I believe that if we really want to work with our sexual issues, we need to turn our attention to the body, to the emotions and to a holistic orientation about sexual issues. Sexuality is or should be, the energy that makes us feel alive and creates even deeper ties in the relationship. Unfortunately most people have shut down this energy, which lies dormant within the body. 

Take responsibility for your body, your feelings and your sexuality. Sex is not a performance. Start going inside. Listen to your body and your feelings. Your body has infinite wisdom and is a wonderful survival machine. When we take a few steps back to listen to our bodies we can learn a lot about ourselves, our sexuality and about life in general. Maybe some deep fears are stopping you of letting go to deep pleasure? Maybe some trauma in your yoni has numbed that area and you don’t feel pleasure? Maybe you are frightened of asking for what you want? Maybe you feel under pressure in many areas of your life? Maybe deep down you don’t trust? Trust has come up for me on my healing journey and its deep, very deep, goes back many lifetimes.   

Embarking on your Journey will help you work through the layers of emotions that have been repressed for many years. Fears, shame, distrust, anger and sadness will come up to be felt and released. In our loving relationships all these come up to be healed. Unfortunately we are not very well equipped at dealing with these challenges. With support from a therapist you and your loved one can get the support you need to do this together. If you are single working with a therapist to release your negative emotions will help you attract the right partner into your life.