SEXUAL FANTASIES
Recently shame around sexual fantasies has come up quite a lot, so I’ve decided to write about it. Clients have approached me wanting to work on their fantasies and friends have also opened up about fantasies they have never talked about before. SHAME breeds in SECRECY, so lets get it out in the open!
Sexual fantasies don’t seem to be top of the topic list at a dinner party or a night out. A while ago I brought up the topic on a girlie night out. A few jaws dropped, no one gave anything away and I was told that I wouldn’t be looking after any of their dogs in the future……. We’ve all got deep dark fantasies
WHEN LUST HAS DISAPPEARED
And sex becomes pressure – this can happen in a relationship or if you are single.
When the desire for sex has disappeared or becomes much less than before it’s natural to start believing something is wrong. That the desire for sex has diminished does not have to mean there is something wrong with you or your relationship. It can be more about how you relate to your body and to your feelings.
Today, the media has a huge impact on how most people and especially women relate to their body and sexuality. Everywhere we are bombarded with images and messages describing ideals for the happy life, the well-functioning relationship and not least the always passionate sex.
EMBRACE RESISTANCE
Working with our inner parts, it becomes obvious that it is about resistance. Our inner parts share their resistance to life. That resistance can show itself in many ways. It can be resistance to work, exercising, looking after our bodies, anything we do really. It can be a resistance to relationships with other people. It can be a resistance to taking risks or living out our purpose (this is often the same). Really moving forward comes when we notice our resistant thoughts, not just the positive thoughts.
Most self-help wants us to believe that our healing and recovery happens when we focus on the positive. I suppose its easier that way. It feels better. Spending time inundating our minds with positive thoughts does distract us from the pain we are in. But does it work? …